Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Relationship Health: 15 Signs He Is 'Loving' You to Death

When we enter into a relationship, we are looking for that special someone that completes us, supports us, and loves us unconditionally. However, it is estimated that "1 out of 3 women around the world has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime."

Abuse does not discriminate based on class, race, or religion, but it is still predominantly a women’s issue. Statistics show that women are more likely than men to be victimized with 84 % of spouse abuse victims and 86 % of victims of abuse at the hands of a boyfriend or girlfriend being women.

One reason we are including this post in our The View From Venus series, is that abuse can have serious health consequences for victims. The Family Violence Prevention Fund reports that:
Women who have experienced domestic violence are 80 % more likely to have a stroke, 70 % more likely to have heart disease, 60 % more likely to have asthma and 70 % more likely to drink heavily than women who have not experienced intimate partner violence.
In summary, healthy relationships are healthy for your heart.

Are you afraid to disagree with your partner because of his or her temper? Here is a partial list of warning signs that you are in an unhealthy relationship. More complete lists can be found here and here.

Dose your partner:
  • Embarrass you with put-downs in public or private?
  • Look at you or act in ways that scare you?
  • Control what you do, who you see or talk to or where you go?
  • Stop you from seeing your friends or family members?
  • Control your finances?
  • Make all of the decisions?
  • Tell you that you’re a bad parent or threaten to take away or hurt your children?
  • Prevent you from working or attending school?
  • Act like the abuse is no big deal, it’s your fault, or even deny doing it?
  • Destroy your property or threaten to kill your pets?
  • Intimidate you with guns, knives or other weapons?
  • Shove you, slap you, choke you, or hit you?
  • Force you to have sex or to do sexual things that make you uncomfortable?
  • Threaten to commit suicide?
  • Threaten to kill you?
To get help for you or a loved one who is trapped in an abusive relationship, you can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

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